I grew up in an “independent / fundamental” Baptist Church. There was a huge list of “dos” and “don’ts” that was our primary understanding of life. Our world view was to grudgingly hold to this list for fear of offending God and being sent to hell. Of course, in our own delusion, we lived as if it wasn’t so much wrong to do these things as it was to get caught. The “don’ts” were basically: no dancing, no going to the movies, no smoking, no playing cards (except for the game, Rook. For some reason this card game escaped the condemnation of the “fundys”), certainly no sex before marriage, no gambling, no sports on Sunday, and probably a few more that I can’t remember right now. Obviously, the sex before marriage was on firm theological and moral grounds. But the rest of the list I found lacking of any rational foundation. I remember attempting to engage some of my elders (those older than me, not church elders) in a discussion of these items. On the subject of smoking, I remember asking one adult if it was sinful to eat McDonald hamburgers. “Of course not”, was the reply. “Ok, what if I ate these hamburgers every day for every meal”, I asked. “Well, this would be unwise and unhealthy”, they said “but not sinful.” “So why is it wrong to smoke”? “It’s a dirty, unhealthy habit, and it’s clearly wrong”, they said. I suggested that it was probably just as unhealthy to eat McDonald’s hamburgers for every meal every day as it was to habitually smoke cigarettes. I asked, “Doesn’t the Bible talk of anything that controls our lives, that addicts us, as being wrong/sinful?” “Isn’t it really addiction, bordering on idol worship that is the principle that makes a thing wrong”? “Is it really sinful to have a cigarette, or cigar, or smoke a pipe occasionally?” I don’t remember exactly what their last words were, but I think it involved some kind of “harrumph!” and then they walked away.
I attempted the above conversation with many of the adults in my life at that time with similar results. Sad to say, while the general population of my social life today don’t hold to the same list of dos and don’ts that I had way back at the Baptist Church, there is still an obvious unwillingness to engage a conversation about anything that might involve disagreement or an exchange of ideas that wouldn’t be considered “preaching to the choir”. It’s no wonder that our kids are leaving the church. Their minds are atrophied, and at the slightest stimulation from another source, they’re gone. Unfortunately, the ones stimulating them are the fools of I Corinthians.
Until I was about 18 or 19 years old, I don’t remember any type of intellectual challenge. That being, I was never asked a question that would require thinking, other than to remember a specific about the faith that I was told or the dos and don’ts on the list. I also don’t recall ever having a conversation about the “things of God” at home. That was left to the Church. It wasn’t until a couple friends of mine (who attended different churches in the area) and myself, started a couple bible studies, that we actually began discussing what the Bible said and the implications to our daily lives.
Why were they (are we) so afraid / hesitant to discuss ideas with their (our) kids?
First of all it’s much easier to control a person who doesn’t think. And, as I’ve said before, if our goal is to simply keep them out of trouble until they are not in our charge anymore, then let’s just tell them (“Because I said so!”) what they can and cannot do.
The second reason is a bit more sinister. Is it possible that some adults are afraid that if we actually look at Christianity from an intellectual perspective, that it won’t stand up to scrutiny? This once again goes to the issue of, how convinced are we ourselves of the truth of this faith? We all know how intimidating the secular argument can be. Certainly, we know that all that is Christianity isn’t explainable. There is much about the ways of God that will remain a mystery until we see Him. Is it simply our pride that keeps us from declaring with conviction and certainty that which we call our faith?
A third reason could be there is the possibility that it’s simply generational at this point. We are simply doing with our kids what we’ve been taught; put out the fires and hope they make it intact to adulthood. We have also, unwittingly, delegated the responsibility of raising our kids to the media, the church youth ministry and para-church organizations. All of these practices absolve us (at least in our minds) of the blame if they don’t make it intact to adulthood.
Finally, it is clearly the easiest route to take. Life in our time is a very complex thing. There are more distractions and options now than ever in history. But to what end this easy route. What is the next step in this generational slide? How will our kids raise their kids? A slippery slope never goes up. The only way to raise the standard is to fight our way back up. “There is a way that seems right, but the end is death.”
To be continued…