When we are young, all things old seem insignificant. We roll our eyes at dad’s jokes, we scoff at mom’s warnings to be careful, and we tolerate Grandpa’s stories of bygone eras. When we look at those who came before us, we see a hardness, a rigidness, sometimes a sadness that is almost repulsive.
Youth has its own energy. It is an energy that is self-sustaining, though limited in its scope. It is self absorbed and ignorant of its own ignorance. It is an energy that looks out on the world with no frame of reference, no sense of consequence or what is real. If it is not careful, it will become its own worst enemy. Youth was never meant to be on its own. Youth is meant to be guided, and then conquered. Youth is simply the beginning stage of life. It was never intended to be unending or even to be prolonged.
In my six and a half decades on this planet I have seen an ever increasing idolization of youth. Our desire to stay young is so strong that even in our modern culture we deify the young as if they have a secret, a special wisdom that is to be sought after. I’m amazed at the number of movies and television shows that portray the young, whether in a family setting or some other, as being the wise ones. More and more we see adults given the role of anguished incompetents that are slaves to their antiquated ways of dealing with situations and solving problems. The saddest reality is that in our culture many adults deserve this portrayal.
I’m sure that most adults have experienced a time in their life when they finally realize “it’s time to grow up”. Unfortunately, most adults, when they have this epiphany, walk into that next phase of life with one of two attitudes, neither of which are the way it ought to be.
First is one of never looking back except for the occasional nostalgic trip. In fact, when they do look upon youth it is with a kind of distain, brought on by jealousy or contempt. The second, and more destructive, is the one that won’t allow us to fully engage with adulthood, but look back longingly at our youth. We see the result of this, as I mentioned before in the portrayal of youth as wise and mature. This of course is not accurate, rather is stems from our own desire to legitimatize our desire to stay young while not looking immature ourselves.
I will say, so as to not come down more harshly than I should on that second attitude, that this second attitude goes back to our view of those adults who came before us. They certainly weren’t perfect in their portrayal of adulthood. My parent’s generation, for instance, was greatly lacking in the area of communication. It was primarily; “do what I say and stop asking questions”. Clearly, this is not what would be recognized as “training” or “mentoring”. This type of communication is purely confrontational, and while it is a legitimate way to communicate, and in extreme cases a necessary way to communicate, it is not the most effective way to “train up a child in the way they should go”.
So, how should it work, this transition from youth to adulthood. Well, first of all let me say that “Youth” is simply a word to describe a phase of life. No one is called to stay in this (or any other) phase of life. All teaching and training is for the express purpose of moving into maturity. The Scripture is clear on this point.
Hebrews 5:12-14 “For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you have need again for someone to teach you the elementary principles of the oracles of God, and you have come to need milk and not solid food. 13 For everyone who partakes only of milk is not accustomed to the word of righteousness, for he is an infant. 14 But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 “There is an appointed time for everything.”
1 Corinthians 14:20 Brethren, do not be children in your thinking; yet in evil be infants, but in your thinking be mature.
Ephesians 4:14-15 As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming; but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ.
As a quick personal confession, I most definitely identify with the second one. It took me a bit longer than most to fully engage with my responsibility as an adult. This is not to say that I didn’t provide a living for my family or that I would skip out on work or live a primarily irresponsible life. It was more along the lines of not seeing the responsibility to confront the things of youth for the sake of young people. My embrace of adulthood was self serving.
As a result, we have plenty of blame to go around. The young person’s excuse is a legitimate one, ignorance. The adults excuse is less legitimate. Much of our failure to stay engaged is based in selfishness, as is the case with all disobedience. It is our desire to put ourselves first (the basis of all sin) that prevents us from serving.
I Peter 5:2-3 Shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sordid gain, but with eagerness; nor yet as lording it over those allotted to your charge, but proving to be examples to the flock.
When I was young I thought of adults in a way that would suggest I believed that they were always adults. That’s not to say that they didn’t have anything of value to say, but it was that they lived in a different time and couldn’t possibly identify with my world. And since my reality was completely and utterly based in myself, I had no doubt that my thoughts and opinions were sage. Of course, this type of thinking is fueled by the “energy of youth” that is self-sustaining, limited in scope, self-absorbed, and ignorant of its own ignorance. Clearly what was called for here was a “new” way of thinking. But where would this come from if not the generation that came before.
It is incumbent upon the adults to communicate life to the young. It is the responsibility of the mature to mentor those who lack maturity. There is a calling on all adults to prepare the next generation. We are called to serve those in our charge. There were few adults in my youth that didn’t make me feel like I was an annoyance. I thank God for those few.
Our desire should be to do all that we can to help the young transition out of this early stage of life, to grow strong in the faith, and to see that their calling is the same toward those who come after them.
To balance this responsibility out and not overwhelm, the young have a responsibility also. It is the responsibility of the young to listen and learn. But it isn’t just “adults talk”, “kids listen”. The adults still have the greater responsibility to listen and discern. There is much we can and should learn from the perspective of one who has not yet been jaded. The young are gifted with vision. The adults should never forget that. The older ones have the wisdom of life experience. God has meant it to be that we better each other with that with which we have been gifted.
Adults: Colossians 3:21 “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.”
Young people: I Timothy 4:12 “Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe.